Life As A Single Parent

1 year, 20 weeks.

Tangie left me this week.  I knew it was inevitable, but I just didn't think it would happen so soon.  My mind was reeling as she packed her bag.  Please don't leave us, stay for the children, I wanted to say.  But the decision was already made.  My eyes brimmed with tears as she slipped out the door.  Now, of course, I'm being a little dramatic here.

Tangie had 2 days of training in Atlanta, so she flew out late Sunday afternoon through Tuesday evening, leaving me in charge of everything.  Wow, that's a lot of responsibility!  But let's review the weekend before we go there.

Last Friday Orlando Junior Academy had a fundraiser, their "Boosterthon"  (sounds like an immunization party), wherein they had the kids get monetary pledges for the number of laps they can run around the gymnasium.  The maximum number of laps was 35, so the patrons can pledge any amount per lap.  And really, how many laps can a 4 year old run?  We were thinking 10, max 15.  Maybe.  Turned out that Braelyn ran all 35 laps.  Count 'em:  thirty-five.  I can barely walk down the driveway without stopping to catch my breath, and we have a short driveway.  The kid did 35 laps.  Oh, such youthful endurance and verve!  Needless to say, she made out well, with Mommy pledging $2 per lap, Papa and Nana $1 per lap, and Lolo and Lala an even $20.  We're gonna have to rethink this next year.

Brae plays on a little playground truck at school.

They marked each lap as she ran by.

After picking up the twins and waiting for Mommy to get home from work, we decided to enjoy the cooler temperature and fantastic weather in the backyard.  Hurricane Irene was pounding North Carolina and had taken all the rain bands and humidity with her, leaving us with clear skies and refreshingly cool breezes.  Ironically, I had mowed the lawn earlier in the morning amidst ominously low hanging dark clouds and threatening feeder bands.  But the afternoon and early evening turned out to be gorgeous.  The children enjoyed swinging on the hammock and playing in the sandbox.

Working on a kids' building project from Lowe's.

The three monkeys on the hammock.



What a glorious afternoon!  Still too warm for a campfire though.

Brae shows her rocket star pose.

Sabbath morning took us to church to attend Sabbath school.  We haven't had any new parents volunteer to lead the lesson so this was the second week the Children & Family pastor Barbara McCoy led out.  It's amazing how much Cradle Roll has changed since we started attending after Braelyn was born.  Back then the teachers were always going on the fly and doing a lot of adlibbing, where as now there is a set program and many, many props.  And technology has caught up too, with two 32" flat screen tv's and large BOSE speakers, all connected to the computer that controls which music to play to accompany the songs we're singing.  Welcome to the 2010's!  Back in my day, we played with sticks...

Why do they always seem to have that dazed and confused look?

Excuse me, but my harp is a little off key...

"I don't want to wear the crown"  Maddy just seconds before a hissy fit...

...and there she goes.

After a quick lunch we piled into the van and went on a tiny excursion.  I asked Tangie where she wanted to go and she said, "Go west, young man" so I drove us to Tampa.  Well, about 30 minutes south of Tampa on the west coast.  One of her partners had a house on the waterfront and had invited the team out for a family get together.  So the kids took a nap while I drove through some pretty intense thunderstorms down I-4, hoping the weather would clear up by the time we arrived in Tampa, which it did.  As we entered the neighborhood, we commented on how the homes and properties progressively got bigger and taller the further we drove into the subdivision, with the grandest of them all right at the water's edge.  Mr. Mike and his wife were gracious hosts and had a beautiful home they shared with their two dogs, a boxer and a huge English mastiff named Koa.  I swear, this bear of a dog was as big as a Shetland Pony and could have easily fit the twins in her belly, but was as gentle and soft mannered as I've ever seen any dog behave.  The twins were frightened at first but then curiosity overcame their fear and in the end they were petting Koa's very shedful fur.  We enjoyed burgers, homemade potato salad and baked beans while the children played in their pool with amazing views of the Gulf of Mexico.  One day.  One day...

Double driveway to a 6 car garage opens up to...

...the pool and magnificent views of the Gulf.

View of the back of the house.

Brae enjoyed the pool with the help of some water wings.

Here she was mimicking a dolphin, I think.

Their English mastiff, Koa lumbers out to see all the racket.

The twins ran crying to Mommy at first.

But then everyone calmed down and got used to each other.



Apparently Kohlden really enjoyed his peanut butter sandwich.

And Maddy found the nacho chip bowl.

Looks like we're moving again.  We put a down payment on this house, complete with Hummer.  I'm kidding, of course. 

On Sunday Tangie and Braelyn attended a friend's get together in the morning so I took the twins out to go to the splash playground in downtown Winter Garden.  Or so, that's what I wanted to do.  As I had made preparations and loaded everyone in the van, I was a little dismayed and somewhat taken a back when I turned the ignition and the van wouldn't start.  Great, what now?  The starter was working, I could hear it clicking, so it must've been a dead battery.  But I wasn't going to jump it and risk it not starting out in public, so on to contingency plan B and unloaded everyone out and to the backyard.  I wasn't going to undo the last 30 minutes of putting on bathing suits and sunscreen for nothing, so I brought out the trusty splash pool and started filling it up with water.  Luckily, it made no difference to the twins ~ water meant fun and having a good time, no matter where it was!  They enjoyed playing for almost 2 hours, with Kohlden's suit having a hard time staying on and giving us a little peek of his bottom.  I was "crack"ing up, literally.  I hope he forgives me later on in life for posting these pictures.

Sunday morning breakfast out on the patio.

Kohl takes charge of filling the pool.

Maddy's diaper filled up with water gives her a lot of junk in the trunk.

Um, excuse me sir...you're, um, crack is showing.

Yeah, he couldn't care less.

Synchronized swimming!

After Tangie and Braelyn got back I jumped the van and took it to Walmart to be serviced and get the battery replaced.  Turns out it still had the factory battery which made sense, as the van is 3 years old.  So we are now up and running with a new battery that can be replaced if it fails in the next 3 years.  And now we're caught up to Tangie leaving us for Atlanta.

What now?  After Mommy left we took the wagon and wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood, trying to figure out what to do next.

So for the next 48 hours I would be on my own to handle all aspects of childcare and home, so basically be a single dad.  Talk about a crash course in full time parenting!  I think the hardest part was getting all three up so early in order to drop Braelyn off to school by 8, and then drive back across town to bring the twins to Starchild.  After projects and errands, turn around and do the same thing in the afternoon and pick them all up, with supper and baths and stories and bedtime.  But we managed just fine, with my parents calling in to check up and make sure we were doing okay.  Tangie and I would call each other in the evenings to share and catch up our day, and it felt like the days when we were dating and calling each other at night, except that now I was the single parent with 3 kids.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  I have so much respect for single parents. 

One single parent outside our home will soon have her children leave her.  Our morning doves are 2 weeks old and almost at the stage where they will learn to fly.  I'm just glad our children won't be leaving anytime soon, although ask me in a few years when they're sixteen and ready to leave the nest.  I'm sure it'll be a different story then. 



14 days old and so grown up!

On my drives to and from the two schools I get a chance to explore the different businesses and streets.  But what I've really noticed are the billboards.  There is a stretch of the 408 Expressway from John Young to Kirkman that has 8 billboards all in a row advertising a different lawyer.  From John Morgan, Dan Newlin, and Mark Nation to smaller no name attorneys, from medical malpractice to car accidents to divorce.  (I feel like I should get a commission for this plug!) And ironically the last billboard is for a company that refers you to a lawyer if you need help finding one.  Um, didn't you just see the past 7 billboards?  But there is this one particular billboard that I had to take a picture of, that I think is outrageous for being put up, which is by Evans High School on Silverstar in Pine Hills.  I just feel sorry for the little girl that had to model for the picture.

Sounds like a Maury Povich advertisement.  1-888-PROVE IT?  Seriously?

The twins are down to their last 2 weeks in Starchild.  They continue to learn and develop and are eagerly engaging us with conversation, albeit in their own language.  But they're trying to make sense, or at least, you think you understand what they're saying or what you're saying to them.  Their head teacher, Miss Stephanie, was nice enough to take some pictures of them in action at school and emailed them for me to share in the blog.

Such a little monkey!

The cutest little pirate.

Snack time!

Gotta have my water!

Match maker, match maker, make me a match...

Do I have to smile again?  Geez!

This is the fad of "Planking" where you lie like a plank of wood in the most auspicious of places. (stock photo)



And I think Maddy has caught on with her version of planking.

Braelyn has also continued to engage, and I find that there are more occurrences of independence and power struggles.  So I'm frantically searching for that fine line between being the parent when discipline is needed and being the parent that allows her to grow and develop and make the right decisions.  I'm sure I'll be going back and forth on that line for years to come, I just want to make sure I'm finding the right balance.  These are the thoughts that keep me up at night.  Anyway, here are a few conversations that happened to us this week:

• I usually pick Brae up with a snack to eat in the van.  On Tuesday she didn't want her veggie chips, so she threw the bag at me while I was driving and hit me in the head.  I immediately pulled off to the side of the road and turned around and scolded her, which prompted her to cry.  I got back on the road and started explaining to her why it was wrong to throw things at people and how to control her emotions.

           Me:  "It's not nice to throw things when you don't want it.  It makes Daddy
                     sad, and it makes Jesus sad."
           Brae:  (still crying) "But Jesus always loves me!"  (I had to turn away and
                      smile at that one)
           Me:  "Yes, that's right.  Jesus will always love you and Daddy will always
                    you too, but it still makes me sad when you're not nice."

           Later on in the drive:

            Brae:  "Daddy, you broke my heart" (sniffles)
            Me:  "I'm sorry honey, but we don't throw things at Daddy."
            Brae:  (After a few seconds)  "Mommy fixed my heart"
            Me:  "How did Mommy fix it?  She's not here, she's in Atlanta."
            Brae:  "God gave me Mommy's heart."
            Me:  "He did?  So what's going to happen to Mommy, now that you have
                      her heart?"
            Brae:  "It's okay.  Mommy has lots of hearts."  (100 actually, she would
                        later tell us.)

• She wanted to listen to some music in the van.

          Brae:  "Daddy, can I have some music?"
          Me:  "Sure, but let's listen to Kids Place Live instead of your party mix."
          Brae:  "Why?"
          Me:  "Because Daddy wants to listen to different songs.  I'm tired of
                   listening to the same songs."
          Brae:  "But that's not my fault.  That's your fault."

• As we were driving home one day I recognized a car I had seen driving a couple days earlier, at the same time of the day and on the same place in town.

           Me:  "Wow, de ja vu."
           Brae:  "Daddy, what's de ja vu mean?"
           Me:  "De ja vu is what you say when you have a weird feeling you've
                    seen something before"
           Brae:  "What's weird mean?"
           Me:  "Weird means strange."
           Brae:  "What's strange mean?"
           Me:  "Strange means different.  It's not normal."
           Brae:  "Oh."
           Me:  [Whew!]

To end I'm going to share a strange conversation I had with the guy from the food court at Costco, as Brae and I were getting some smoothies one afternoon.  The name on his badge said Greg and he kept looking at her, then at me, then at her again.  After what seemed to become a little awkward he paused before he said to me:

          Greg:  "Your daughter goes to Orlando Junior Academy."
          Me:  "I'm a little concerned that you know this."
                  [another awkward pause.]
          Greg:  "My daughter goes there.  They're in the same class."
          Me:  "And what's your daughter's name?"  (I was testing him)
          Greg:  "Taylor."
          Me:  "Oh yes.  She just had a birthday, right?"  (Remember last week's post
                   about Brae's classmate and the cupcake face?)
          Greg:  "Now I'm the one a little concerned that you know this."
          Me:  "I'm Allen, nice to meet you." 

It truly is a small world, and an even smaller city.

This is just moments before she accidentally dropped the smoothie on the floor, splattering everywhere.  What a mess!

Have a great weekend!